So after a great conversation with a good friend I feel a lot better about today.
I am hoping to be incredibly productive. More than that, I need to be productive. I need to prove to myself that I can do my work. I can fight the fatigue. I can find balance between being a mom, wife homemaker.
So, in order to be able to accomplish all of this, I need to lean a bit on others. Some seem to view that as a weakness, I was one of those people up until a year or so ago. There was a time when I thought "good grief, it takes an army just to keep me functioning on a basic level!" and that just depressed me further.
Now, however, I can see that asking for help is actually a sign of maturity. I am able to see where my limits are and acknowledge that I need a helping hand. Instead of pushing myself emotionally and physically to the point of exhaustion, I can reach out to people who care, and ask for help.
Not only does it help me get done what I need to, but it also strengthens that bond between myself and my friends and husband.
Do you have any idea how hard this was for me to understand? It has taken me four years to get to this point, and I still struggle with it. Why should I ask for help when I feel like I have a better handle on things than I ever have before? The answer is simple: I still need help from time to time, as does everyone.
So what is left to do? Reach out and ask!
This past week my best friend came over to help me get things done. Sometimes I just need someone here to chat with and help chores seem less mundane. Sometimes I need someone to help keep the kids occupied and hold mine if they're having one of those "don't let my feet touch the ground" days. Other times I need someone to take everyone away so I can have the house to myself to pick up clutter and clean in peace and quiet. Then there are other times when I need someone to vacuum for me while I put laundry away, or wash the dishes while I dry them and put them up.
The great news is that I have a great friend and an incredible husband who are always more than willing to help out.
An incredibly intelligent person once (or perhaps a few hundred times) told me that a friendship takes two people to make it work (just like any relationship). Translation: I may not feel like I'm giving the other person anything in return for all that I ask/need, but I am giving something or else the friendship wouldn't have lasted as long and become as strong as it has!