Welcome to My Corner of the World

I hope you find humor, inspiration and something worthwhile on this blog. I plan to be as candid as possible. Life is hard. I know, I've overcome a lot (and still have a way to go).
It doesn't help others if the rough things are glossed over.

I will no doubt fill this blog with stories of my achievements as a mom as well as my personal struggles.

I have an incredible husband whom I call "my sanity." I have two great kids with strong personalities. I struggle with anxiety and depression and I have had a colorful childhood.

I also have an addiction to Gilmore Girls, A&W Cream Soda, and Starbucks peppermint mocha.
I have recently added biking to my list of hobbies and also love to read, knit, and play tennis.

Welcome to my little corner of the world!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Anxiety, really?

  Throughout my counseling sessions I had mentioned a few times, in passing, that I've had chest pains over the years.  My second counselor said "no wonder, it was all the anxiety you were dealing with."  I didn't think much about it at the time.
  However, today I was chatting with my best friend and was telling her that I have been having the chest pains again and started describing the dull, aching pains that effect my moverment to her as well as the fact that I haven't been sleeping that well lately.
  Through the course of our conversation she suggested that perhaps it's something associated with anxiety.
  I got home and WebMD'd it and I think that's spot on.  I remember the first time I ever had the pains Mom rushed me to the ER.  I was probably 9 or 10.  They ran all kinds of tests and couldn't find the cause.  Their best diagnosis: growing pains.  The only problem with that was the pain was debilitating.  I honestly couldn't move.  I really can't fault the doctors, who would have guessed that a 9 year old would have anxiety/panic issues?  The only way they could have known was to know the environment I was growing up in--and how would they know to ask about that?
  Over the years I've been tested repeatedly for asthma and even though the tests come back normal, doctors still gave me inhalers and would go on my way.  That diagnosis never really felt like it fit, and the inhalers didn't really seem to help--but what else could it be?
  Now I know.
  It just seems funny to me that now, at a time in my life when I feel like I have the most control I've ever had, I still have the pains (and logically, still suffer from some kind of anxiety/panic).
  Perhaps it's back to counseling for me...I'm certainly ok with that, I had so much success with it over the past year.  I was just hoping to be done with it for a little more than 6 months.
  On a positive note, I was able to let our new neighbors borrow a few of our big tables for their upcoming yard sale.  It's always nice to feel helpful!
 We also get to host the preacher who is holding a gospel meeting at our congregation for dinner Sat. evening.  I am really looking forward to visiting with him. 
  Lots of fun headin' our way!


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