It's been nice to return to the real world. Yesterday was a laid-back day. We went to a drive-through safari with friends and even though one of the kids just took a short nap on the way home, we had a good afternoon.
While I wasn't completely back to normal yesterday, I did feel a whole lot better. I still struggled with those silly chest pains for a large part of the morning and that intrigued me since I felt more composed than I had in days. I still found that I had to make a conscious effort to focus on what needed to get done (me eating breakfast, getting everyone dressed and ready for the day before starting on household chores, etc), but I have days like those every once in a while and I feel even better today.
On the drive home from the safari I was visiting with a woman I have a lot of respect for. She happened to make a passing comment that really stuck with me. She reminded me that while there may be other relationships in my life that need some work, my Christian duty is to God first, then my husband and then my kids. All other relationships come after those, and if something starts to take away from my three primary relationships, then I need to step back and re-evaluate my priorities.
Talk about a light bulb moment!
I've found myself struggling more with the kids, especially with my emotional daughter who likes to try to engage me in power struggles...ugh! I've also noticed a bit of distance with my husband. Well, now I understand why. Hindsight being 20/20 and all, it's because I've absolutely allowed myself to be consumed with a particular issue that has yet to be resolved, and it's not due to lack of effort on my part. I have done everything in my power to correct the situation and act like an adult, and have gotten no where. So, now I am quite content to wash my hands of it for a while and spend time getting my priorities back in line!
Let me tell you, it feels great not having that problem hanging over my head.
For the months to come if I notice myself struggling with my family, I'll be repeating "God, husband, kids" over and over until things get straightened out and I have a great feeling that things will work the way they should.