Welcome to My Corner of the World

I hope you find humor, inspiration and something worthwhile on this blog. I plan to be as candid as possible. Life is hard. I know, I've overcome a lot (and still have a way to go).
It doesn't help others if the rough things are glossed over.

I will no doubt fill this blog with stories of my achievements as a mom as well as my personal struggles.

I have an incredible husband whom I call "my sanity." I have two great kids with strong personalities. I struggle with anxiety and depression and I have had a colorful childhood.

I also have an addiction to Gilmore Girls, A&W Cream Soda, and Starbucks peppermint mocha.
I have recently added biking to my list of hobbies and also love to read, knit, and play tennis.

Welcome to my little corner of the world!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Learning about anxiety

  I've tried and tried and tried to make a post for several days now, but I just get too caught up in other things.  I've learned that having this blog is like therapy for me, and I'm not getting my sessions in when I need to!
  So today I'm taking a few minutes to write some things down.
  This past Sat. I hit a new personal best on my bike ride and was so pleased with myself!  I was whooping and hollering all the way up the monster hill (when I had the breath to spare, that is) that I conquered and it felt good!  All I could say after was "that was awesome."  I've decided that my cozy little box that I spoke about a few posts ago has just been blown to pieces--who needs a box anyway?  ;)
  Today I had an appointment with my counselor about anxiety.  For the past few weeks I've been thinking "why am I having these chest pains?  I don't feel anxious about anything."  Well, today Deb gave me a handout (I love her handouts, they're always so helpful) and after I looked over part of it I had to smile because part of what makes a panic attack a panic attack is that most of the time the reason is unknown. 
  Really Deb thought that perhaps in my case it's just one anxious event piling on top of another.  Even if I dealt with the situations well, there have still been four major things go on in my life in the past 2 months (my mom had another episode, my FIL had a stroke, my daughter will be starting preschool in a week, and one other emotionally-charged event)--perhaps I just need to process them all differently than I had.
  Ok, so knowing that helps in the sense that I'm not "missing" something--I may never know the cause of the attacks.
  Really, I hate to call mine attacks, they just aren't that severe.  The chest pains are really just annoying--but I still want them gone.  And I suppose they're still a physical overreaction and I need to retrain my body on how to handle that.  And they do hurt, I've just had worse.
  Anyway, I have another appointment in about 3 weeks and I'm really looking forward to it.  I like my counselor and I always leave my appointments feeling better.
  I'm planning to have a productive day today.  I have lots of laundry to get done, I have a few other chores to finish up and I want to work on my coupons and my book! 
  Another goal that I want to work towards is cutting out my afternoon nap most days.  If I really need the rest, that's fine, but I am starting to get annoyed that I'm almost 30, both of my kids sleep great most nights, I'm relatively healthy, I've even started exercising and I still need a nap every day!  Good grief!
  I'll let you know how that works out!  =)

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