One thing I've discovered about depression: life goes on.
While I try to stay off the couch and not sleep my life away and while I struggle to re-train myself on how to think, there's a world out there and it keeps going.
On the down side, that only compounds my issues. Now not only do I have my chores to keep up with, but I've got this disgusting depression to work through and kids and a husband to keep up with.
People can only be understanding for so long. This last time I struggled for a week--I can only imagine if I'm this tired of feeling down and like I'm not accomplishing much, how the other people in my life must feel. Especially when the upkeep of my house reflects that. It's got to be exhausting. And frustrating. And annoying. And about a thousand other negative adjectives.
On the positive side: I have motivation to keep me going. If life just stood still, or if no one depended on me, then why would I keep on?
As it happens, I have a 3 year old to potty train, a 5 year old to help navigate life, a house to clean, a business to run and there's lots of fun to be had in life.
I have been reminded how well my husband and I work together. He's very understanding and helpful, but it seems that his patience runs out at the perfect time. He and I had a great talk last week and it was really the kick in the booty that I needed to get up and get going.
So, this week, while I'm feeling a bit more detached, I am at least accomplishing Lots! If I can't feel *real* I'd much rather be able to keep up with my chores and duties in life than fall behind in that part of my life too.
As I have learned over the years of dealing with dissociation, I will feel better eventually so I may as well keep truckin' on.