Worst Mom on the Block

  Valentine's Day.  What fun!  There are boxes to be made, cards to be chosen, crafts to be done, and school parties to enjoy.

  I think it's safe to say that by now we all know that I'm not the most organized person.  I'm not always on top of things.  I forget a Lot.  I'm not a planner.  Like the title of my blog, I take life one day at a time, sometimes even one hour at a time.  Please keep that in mind as you read on...

  

  So Bug goes to preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:30-11:30.  The Thursday before Valentine's Day was his party (makes sense, huh?).

  I knew this...it was floating vaguely somewhere in the back of my mind.  

  However, it was only after Bug had been home from school, had lunch, and was laying down for rest time that it dawned on me: I bet he should have taken some Valentines to school today.

  Ugh!

  I felt like a Complete Idiot (pretty sure everyone agrees I totally earned the capital "I").  

  So, while he was able to enjoy the festivities and eat goodies and get Valentines from all of his sweet little friends, those friends got nothin' from my kid.

  Thankfully he's not the kid who cares much.  That's certainly not an excuse for my faux pas, but thankfully he won't be going to therapy over it.  

  Lord willing, I'll have a chance to redeem myself in about 351 days.  Not to worry, I'll be ready.

  That's probably the most heinous mommy crime I've committed in a while.  I should be good for another year, right?

  ~Alexis

My Silly Bug

  Ok, so I know that my kids are quirky.  They make me smile, scratch my head in wonder, leave me baffled, and drive me nuts!
  That's all just part of being a parent.  Sometimes it's fantastically hilarious and other times it's annoyingly frustrating.

  I thought I'd share one of Bug's biggest quirks. It's funny, but also a bit puzzling.

  Bug likes to smell things.  Sure everyone loves to smell pleasant things: cookies in the oven, flowers, perfume, soap, etc.
  But Bug doesn't stop there.  He loves to smell birthday cakes that are fully frosted and waiting to have the candles lighted.  He frequently gets frosting on the tip of his nose.
  He likes to smell books.  I'm sure we've all noticed the smell of a library and the books that we check out kind of have a smell of their own.  Bug loves to smell library books, Bibles, song books, and coloring books.  He doesn't just notice the smell and move on.  He opens the book wide, jams his nose against the spine, and takes a big whiff (or two...or three).

  In case that wasn't enough.  He also enjoys sniffing his gum before he puts it in his mouth.

  I think I saved the best for last.  It consistently puzzles me and makes me chuckle.
  During communion at Church every Sunday morning he will lean over after I've taken my pinch of the loaf and ask to smell it.  He doesn't smell the piece I have in my hand, rather, I eat it, then lean over and cup his face in my hands and he smells my breath.  Weird?  Definitely.  Funny?  I certainly get a laugh out of it.  Gross?  Probably.
  He does the same thing when the grape juice is passed.  Last Sunday the look on his face was one of pure contentment.  So. Odd.

  His honorary Nana got him a Scentsy monkey for his 4th birthday.  To some that might seem like an odd gift for a 4yo boy.  But for my olfaction-obsessed Bug it was perfect!  He loves to smell it, and it doesn't seem quite so weird.

  ~Alexis

The case of the terrifying DVD player

  The other day Bug decided he wanted to watch "How to Train Your Dragon" (HTYD), his new favorite movie.  
  The first kink in "mission: watch HTYD" went as follows: We always watch movies in the living room...because that's where the DVD player is--well, was.  On Black Friday the Hubby decided to buy himself an early birthday present: an XBox 360.  Naturally he hooked it up to the TV in the living room.  I kindly had him move the DVD player into the family room so he could play and I could watch DVDs on a TV, not the laptop.
  It took me a few minutes to convince Bug that the family room was where we were going to watch the movie.  Of course, at first he was very adamant (in his loud, Bug way) that this was not where we watch anything.
  After settling that issue, the second kink came into play and it went something like this:
  I turned the TV on, but had left the DVD in the living room (silly me was not anticipating so much of an issue just relocating him).  I left Bug for 3 seconds to get the movie, and then I spent the next hour trying to right my wrong.
  You see, when the TV came on so did that interesting thing we call "static" or "snow."  And apparently that completely freaked Bug out.  He ran after me screaming and crying hysterically and insisting that I hold him.  I put the movie in and tried to explain that everything was ok in a way that a 2 year old would understand.
  Naturally, that wasn't good enough for Bug and he insisted that I hold him while he watched the movie--a movie he's been able to watch by himself for at least a month now.  He was now terrified of the DVD player and that fear affected his ability to play by himself part of the morning too.  Yay.
  That was a few days ago, and thankfully now the fear factor has been taken down a few notches.  It hasn't been forgotten, oh no.  Every time Bug walks past the DVD player, or watches a movie in the family room he has to have a conversation about how it scared him.
  There are times when I think it'd be nice to wrap my kids in bubble wrap and try to hide them away from all the scary, nasty things in this world.  Thankfully I'm sane and realize how impossible that is.  Really, though, who would have thought that DVD players would have fallen into the "scary" category?  Obviously I wouldn't have...until now.  Who knew?
  And that is the story of my life: daily encounters with the terrifying!  My kids must think I'm the bravest person on the earth, and I'm ok with that.
 
  ~Alexis

Boys will be boys

  Yesterday I touched a bit on this topic..boys!  Bug is such a boy.  I find myself frequently wondering "what am I going to do with him?"
  He's not like A (and rightfully so.  They're individuals, and then there's the fact that he's a boy and she's a girl).  But A has always been able to sit still for a ridiculous amount of time.  I knew that was abnormal, but the contrast between her attention span and Bug's amazes me!
  When Bug gets quiet (which is next to never) I know he's doing something he shouldn't.  A was always quiet, and loved her space.  When she was quiet she was hardly ever getting into trouble.
  With A I subscribed heavily to the "you should be able to take your kids anywhere and expect them to behave."  Yesterday I had to take Bug to the chiropractor with me.  He hasn't been in so long, I don't think he remembers anything, so I was hoping he'd be intimidated enough to stay out of things!  It worked, but he did sit up on the table with me while the TENS machine worked to loosen up my shoulder muscles...all in all, though, it was a success.
  I just have to put so much more thought into things with Bug.  There have been several times in the last 3 months where I've had to tuck him under my arm and carry him to the van from a public place while he screamed and flailed.  I will never judge another parent again (ok, I'll try really hard not to)!
 
  Just last week I had a neighbor over to visit.  While we were visiting the kids had their morning snack of graham crackers and milk.  Bug got bored and has recently decided that spitting is awesome.  'Nuff said!  Our poor neighbor.  She never had small children (her step kids were teenagers when she and her husband got married) and none of her and her husband's friends have kids, so I'm going to guess when she got sprayed with milk she was a little more disgusted than someone with kids would have been!
  I was so embarrassed!  But what do you do?  I apologized and went on.

  It also happens that the day before that particular neighbor came over Bug's left ear began draining.  He's had tubes in his ears for 18 months and we've never had any ear infections.  The tubes were doing their jobs, but his ear ran (and dripped--bleh!) like a nose!  It even got crusty from running so much.  I was fascinated, I had no idea an ear could do that!  Our neighbor was probably ready to bolt for the door!

  Again, I'm trying to give Bug opportunities to explore things and get messy without getting into trouble.  I've designated Monday as "water-play Monday."  Bug gets to play in the bathtub and play with things he doesn't usually get to (like the squirt bottle, my ladles and a watering can).  I'm hoping this will get us through the cold months ahead when his outside time is restricted.
  Hopefully by next spring I'll still have my sanity and the house will still be standing!


  ~Alexis

Adjustments

 The hardest thing for me lately is learning how to deal with Bug.  Recently he's just been such a boy.  I just don't know what to do with that.  I was an only child, my two cousins (whom I was close to) were both girls, my best friends growing up were girls...I didn't realize what a girly girl I am.  I don't do the frilly, super fancy, high-maintenance stuff--but I'm learning I'm girlier than I thought.
  Bug loves to play in the dirt and sand and make messes.  He loves to get under my skin and A's too.  I frequently hear A squealing and hollering at Bug because he's, well, bugging her and it's not uncommon for me to go see what the fuss is and find him wearing the biggest grin!
  Lately he's not been listening well and doing almost everything he knows he shouldn't and my patience for it is beginning to wax thin!
  I've talked to my best friend and I'm coming to the hard realization that I'm going to have to be more productive at home so I can get Bug out of the house and give him chances to be a boy without getting into trouble.  Unfortunately that goes against my nature.  I like to be home.  It stresses me out to be gone a lot.  I haven't found a good routine that allows me to get my chores done and spend a chunk of the day out.  Keep in mind that a "chunk" to me would be an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon.  In the grand scheme of things it's not much time, but to me it makes a huge difference.  My morning is spent getting us all ready and things picked up and then it's snack time and then it seems like time gets away from me and before I know it, it's time for lunch.  Shortly after lunch we have rest time and since my kids sleep late, there's not much time before I need to start getting dinner ready.
  It's been especially hard the past few weeks when I take the time to go somewhere and do something, intending to accomplish a lot when we get home but  once we get there Bug still requires a lot of my attention.  I feel like I accomplish nothing.
  I find myself back in the middle of the battle I've been fighting for years: finding balance! 
  I've said this time and time again, but I'd really love it if I didn't require so much sleep!  I read friends' statuses on facebook and it's annoying to read about mommies who stay up late and get up early and don't nap when their kids do, and they accomplish about 6 times what I get done in a day.  My MIL has told stories about staying up all night in order to get housework done, or to sew some clothes for the kids or to do homework once she went back to school.  I used to compare myself to her and get so mad when I could barely stay up until midnight and then had no energy the next day.
  Now I realize that I can't be that person.  I tried and it was counter-productive. 
  I suppose I will have to try to tweak things some more and see what happens.  My routine, my expectations and my priorities are all things I'll work on changing a bit in the weeks ahead.
  Here's hoping I get something figured out before I get too stressed out!


  ~Alexis

Down to one again

  My oldest started preschool this week.  It's the first time she's been cared for by a total stranger, one would think I'd be more emotional about it.  I wasn't.  I'm not sure if it's because she's only going half a day three days a week and it doesn't feel like "real" school to me or it just hasn't hit yet.
  Today I was able to process things a bit better, and I really think I like the routine school will force us to have.  I have to get up early AND get dressed which will really help get the day started.  Sometimes it's hard to get going when I'm still in my PJs at 9am and we don't really have anywhere to go.
  Today I was able to really spend some good time with my son, which doesn't happen much.  It seems like it's either always the two of them or I have "me" time and have no kids.  My daughter and I had all kinds of one-on-one time before Bug came along.  A and I had 2 and a half years together!
  I was able to play with Bug and learned a few things about him.  For instance, even though he and A bicker and fight a lot (it seems like a lot to me when they're both screamers) he's staying busy!  Today I was on the phone and A was at school so Bug went into the bathroom and climbed up on the counter, sat in the sink, turned the water on and brushed his teeth with my toothbrush.
  When A's home I don't tend to have moments like that since Bug is either fighting with her, or A is running to tell me that Bug is on the bathroom counter and I can catch him before he gets very far.
  So, note to self: Bug needs more monitoring that A did/does.
  Also, Bug likes to be around people.  I've known he's more social than A, but I couldn't see how different it was until there wasn't someone for him to pal around with.  Today he just wanted me in the room with him.  Sometimes he'd engage me in play and some of the time he was content to do his own thing as long as I was in there with him.
  A has always been pretty solitary and I suppose I took her ability (preference, really) to play by herself for hours on end for granted!
  I'm also learning about Bug's temper.  I've known he has one, but a lot of the time I tend to think he's being provoked a bit by A.  Today, however, I could see that he has basically no patience!
  He was getting mad at the trains he has because they wouldn't stay connected to each other.  I was trying to think of another activity I could suggest, but each one I could see him getting frustrated with just like with the trains.
  So, instead of moving onto something different we played with the trains and when he got mad or frustrated I tried to help him identify that emotion and show him ways to handle it.  His reaction is mainly physical.  He likes to throw things and hit, but he also likes to scream.  Today we worked on not hitting Mommy (or anyone else who might be near by).  I was in the floor playing with him and said "Grrr!  You sound really angry!" and then I threw the toy down that I was playing with--the idea being that I'm setting an example for him ;)  We'll see if he takes that as a license to throw things from now on!
 
  ~Alexis