The hardest thing for me lately is learning how to deal with Bug. Recently he's just been such a boy. I just don't know what to do with that. I was an only child, my two cousins (whom I was close to) were both girls, my best friends growing up were girls...I didn't realize what a girly girl I am. I don't do the frilly, super fancy, high-maintenance stuff--but I'm learning I'm girlier than I thought.
Bug loves to play in the dirt and sand and make messes. He loves to get under my skin and A's too. I frequently hear A squealing and hollering at Bug because he's, well, bugging her and it's not uncommon for me to go see what the fuss is and find him wearing the biggest grin!
Lately he's not been listening well and doing almost everything he knows he shouldn't and my patience for it is beginning to wax thin!
I've talked to my best friend and I'm coming to the hard realization that I'm going to have to be more productive at home so I can get Bug out of the house and give him chances to be a boy without getting into trouble. Unfortunately that goes against my nature. I like to be home. It stresses me out to be gone a lot. I haven't found a good routine that allows me to get my chores done and spend a chunk of the day out. Keep in mind that a "chunk" to me would be an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. In the grand scheme of things it's not much time, but to me it makes a huge difference. My morning is spent getting us all ready and things picked up and then it's snack time and then it seems like time gets away from me and before I know it, it's time for lunch. Shortly after lunch we have rest time and since my kids sleep late, there's not much time before I need to start getting dinner ready.
It's been especially hard the past few weeks when I take the time to go somewhere and do something, intending to accomplish a lot when we get home but once we get there Bug still requires a lot of my attention. I feel like I accomplish nothing.
I find myself back in the middle of the battle I've been fighting for years: finding balance!
I've said this time and time again, but I'd really love it if I didn't require so much sleep! I read friends' statuses on facebook and it's annoying to read about mommies who stay up late and get up early and don't nap when their kids do, and they accomplish about 6 times what I get done in a day. My MIL has told stories about staying up all night in order to get housework done, or to sew some clothes for the kids or to do homework once she went back to school. I used to compare myself to her and get so mad when I could barely stay up until midnight and then had no energy the next day.
Now I realize that I can't be that person. I tried and it was counter-productive.
I suppose I will have to try to tweak things some more and see what happens. My routine, my expectations and my priorities are all things I'll work on changing a bit in the weeks ahead.
Here's hoping I get something figured out before I get too stressed out!
~Alexis
I stumbled upon your blog through another blog. I loved reading your posts about your life with your babies :) Sounds like you have your hands full! I, too, struggle with anxiety on a regular basis...although I believe education on it, meditation and prayer have helped me tremendously! Also, I get those annoying chest pains, grrr! Just gotta take it for what it is and TRY to ignore it if possible...it will pass. Well, I'll be keeping up with you on here, and I'll be praying for you ;)
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