Welcome to My Corner of the World

I hope you find humor, inspiration and something worthwhile on this blog. I plan to be as candid as possible. Life is hard. I know, I've overcome a lot (and still have a way to go).
It doesn't help others if the rough things are glossed over.

I will no doubt fill this blog with stories of my achievements as a mom as well as my personal struggles.

I have an incredible husband whom I call "my sanity." I have two great kids with strong personalities. I struggle with anxiety and depression and I have had a colorful childhood.

I also have an addiction to Gilmore Girls, A&W Cream Soda, and Starbucks peppermint mocha.
I have recently added biking to my list of hobbies and also love to read, knit, and play tennis.

Welcome to my little corner of the world!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Quality Time

  A loves to spend time with me.  Just me.  She loves to play dollies, Barbies, and house.
  I love my kid and I love spending time with her, but those are not my favorite things to do.

  The other day she requested we spend some "Girly Time" together.  I fought back a grimace and agreed.  She picked the activities and I really, genuinely enjoyed myself.
  She decided to play a memory game she made up with her yoga cards.   
  During this time I was reminded what a great kid I have!  It's so easy for me to lose sight of that.

  For one, I saw that she has a wonderful memory.  One day she will be fantastic at Catch Phrase (one of my favorite games) or other similar games/hobbies.  I was surprised at how awesome she is at coming up with different ways to describe something.
  Interestingly enough, as I write this I am even more amazed at this newly uncovered ability.  When she was just starting to talk one of the biggest meltdown triggers was her inability to come up with other ways to help me figure out what she was saying.  She was unable to give me the context of what she was talking about, or even use a different word to give me a clue and help me out.  I got two chances on a good day (mostly I only got one) to figure out what she was saying.  Even when she was 4 I was constantly reminding her to use her words, and it was still a struggle.
  How amazing it is for me to see this part of her unlocked and free, and realize this is one of her strengths!

  As we were playing, I noticed her body language was stress-free.  Her brow wasn't furrowed, her muscles weren't tense, and her eyes were clear of worry.  It was then I saw how beautiful she is.  I saw her warm, caring brown eyes.  I saw her hair for its beautiful waves and dark color--not the mess of tangles I'm used to fighting her about brushing.

  This is why we're sticking with therapy, nudging her out of her comfort zone, coming to terms with our 7 yo seeing a psychiatrist, and are ok with medicating her.
  Catching a glimpse of A, the true A, is rare.  Her beautiful personality has been overshadowed by overwhelming anxiety.
   There's a wonderful kid under all of this emotion and we're seeing more and more of her.  Words will never be able to describe how happy that makes me.

  I was also able to see that despite all of these meltdowns, stressful days, and moments when I doubt myself, I must be doing something right!


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