Welcome to My Corner of the World



I hope you find humor, inspiration and something worthwhile on this blog. I plan to be as candid as possible. Life is hard. I know, I've overcome a lot (and still have a way to go).
It doesn't help others if the rough things are glossed over.

I will no doubt fill this blog with stories of my achievements as a mom as well as my personal struggles.

I have an incredible husband whom I call "my sanity." I have two great kids with strong personalities. I struggle with anxiety and depression and I have had a colorful childhood.

I also have an addiction to Gilmore Girls, A&W Cream Soda, and Starbucks peppermint mocha.
I have recently added biking to my list of hobbies and also love to read, knit, and play tennis.

Welcome to my little corner of the world!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Success!

  My last post was about how well I handled a crazy couple of weeks and this one follows in the same fashion.
  This week was kind of gross.  I won't go into great detail now (perhaps another post will be devoted to one day in particular--it was that bad!).
  Hubby was on a business trip from Tuesday through Friday.  My energy was lacking.  My patience was lacking.  I had a book club meeting at my house Thursday that I needed to clean the house for.  I was hosting a game day for my best friend's kids and my kids (two boys age 2 and two girls age 4) on Friday.  I really struggled with A on Wednesday and that left me drained.
  However, on top of all of that I noticed that the way I handled it all was amazing--especially when I compared it to how I would have handled it in the past.
  Used to I would have been cranky, felt overwhelmed, been depressed because I had too much to do and couldn't get it done, and would have been incredibly anxious about it all--sweating, unfocused, the whole package.
  This week, however (with the exception of Wednesday), I handled it all well. I didn't avoid my chores, wasn't tempted to just curl up on the couch and sleep it all away, wasn't scattered and sweaty!
  Wednesday night I went to bed at a decent hour (used to I would have stayed up late trying to clean and get caught up).  Thursday I was productive and I was looking forward to having all my friends over instead of stressing about it all.  I wasn't cleaning and distracted when everyone arrived.  I had everything ready and was focused.
  It felt amazing!
  It's times like that when I'm able to see that all of my counseling and chats with my husband and best friend have paid off and have really stuck!
  I know that I have a lot of strategies in my arsenal to fight depression and anxiety, but it's great to see that my subconscious has filed away all the talking and processing.
  There are certainly times when I have to make a very deliberate effort to do what I need to.  There was a time (and I still have days like this) when I had to force myself to eat breakfast, get the kids dressed, make lunches and snacks and it takes all my energy to stay awake and off the couch.  Thankfully those days have become fewer and farther between.
  There was a time when I never thought I'd be in this place.  I was too overwhelmed by normal, every-day life.  How in the world was I going to be able to to anything "extra" (have game days for/with my kids, plan fun surprises for friends/family, do something spontaneous, be truly organized and be able to plan ahead, etc.)?
  I am so happy to say I have finally reached the point in my life when I can do some "extras" and not lose focus and get overwhelmed.
  It's been quite the journey, though, full of pity parties, anxiety attacks, depression, strong emotions I didn't know how to handle, unhealthy relationships, guilt trips and such.  Thankfully the journey was also filled with good counselors, incredible friends, answered prayers and an amazing husband!
  I'm off to have a wonderful weekend, free of negatives and full of positive things!
 

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