I've been struggling a LOT lately.
I've been dealing with more anxiety/panic.
I even had to cancel having company last weekend because I couldn't get my act together and clean the house.
I'm hosting an event this weekend. At my house. Re-scheduling is not an option. Monday I was doing ok, but then yesterday I started slowing down and today was basically at a standstill.
So this morning as I sat on the couch trying to decide whether I wanted to sleep or force myself to be *productive* (which would have resulted in me wandering aimlessly through the house until I convinced myself to just give in and sleep), I decided to spend some time in prayer. When I was done, a brilliant realization hit me: I haven't been exercising like I need to. A little goes a long way for me, so I jumped on the trampoline for 5 minutes and already felt better.
I was more clear-headed and my mood was brighter.
I was able to come up with a game plan for the first part of my day and got going!
I also found my thoughts became more positive and clearer. I began to remind myself that while cleaning is a struggle for me, I am a good mother and wife. I have maintained a casein-free diet for A for almost 3 months and have also made her gluten free for 2 weeks. Gluten was VERY intimidating for me, so for me to stick with it is Awesome--and it doesn't help that A's favorite foods are Full of gluten. Again, for me to be firm and make the commitment is Amazing!
I should be proud of that!
I have also been focusing on my marriage. Don't get me wrong, the Hubby and I have a really good relationship, but it's still easy for him to get put on hold because I have two rather demanding kiddos! However, making sure I do things for him, no matter how small, helps keep that relationship strong and I have been making the effort to do just that.
So, while this is probably painfully obvious to you, I have a hard time seeing that being a good wife and mother goes deeper than the amount of time I spend cleaning.
This is certainly a blog post I can refer to later! It's a good reminder to me, as well as anyone else who struggles with the same negative thoughts about self worth.