A Dark Day

  Ok, so yesterday was not good.
  Two posts ago I mentioned a whole bunch of "stuff" that I've been dealing with and going through.  After this past weekend I've got some more things to add to that list.  As a result, my depression has been laying it on thick.  I've known I need to make a 6 month mental tune-up appointment with my therapist and I finally got the ball rolling on all that.  I have an appointment this Friday.  Let me tell ya, yesterday I was beginning to wonder if I was going to make it until today, let alone Friday!

  The good news: I made it to today and I feel better.  Whew!

  The kids have been sick.  I've been sick.  We've been off schedule.  A's had some SPD-related issues.  Our schedule has been pretty packed.  The last few days I've needed a break from being a mommy for a while.
  It caught up to me yesterday.
  Let's start with this side note: I went to be the night before at 8:30--I should have had plenty of sleep.  Monday morning I got up and got Hubby's lunch made and A off to school.  I came home and went back to sleep.  I slept Hard!  I had very vivid dreams and had a hard time getting up and collecting myself when Bug got up at 8:20!  I was feeling pretty scattered, but had planned to walk with my bestie and so Bug and I got ready and went.
  Usually walking helps wake me up and get going.  Not yesterday. I basically spent the remainder of the day dozing from one activity to another.  Bug watched some more TV and only when A got off the bus did I remember I had a parent/teacher conference with A's teacher at 4:15.
  Her teacher was lucky I didn't show up in my PJs with my hair all messy--I was able to muster the strength to pull it together and make myself presentable.  Barely.

  I was so tired, I could barely keep my eyes open.
  Yesterday I knew I was miserable.  Today I have a better perspective and realize how much worse it was than I realized.
  Thankfully I Rarely have days like that--but when I do, I'm not so sure I should drive or be responsible for anyone (myself included).

  Ok, so where's the silver lining?  I don't like to leave a post on a negative note, if I can help it.
  The positive:

• I have a great support system to lean and depend on when need be(which seems to be a lot, as of late).
• I made it to today!
• I feel better, not worse.
• I was able to enjoy time with Bug today playing Superheroes, trains and exploring the basement.  I wouldn't have earmarked the time to spend with him if yesterday had been better.
• I was able to reorganize my priorities a bit and cancel the yard sale I had scheduled for this weekend.
• I have great coping strategies and am capable of using them without a second thought, most of the time now.

  Here's hoping that my next post can be a funny one!

  ~Alexis